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I’m sort of super embarrassed to ask this, but is anyone else watching that insane new show on fyi called Married at First Sight? You know, the one where two total strangers first meet at their own wedding? (I know. I’m ashamed of me, too.) I just can’t help myself when it comes to all things wedding and trashy TV, so this was a double whammy.

Cortney & Jason, my fave couple.

The concept of this show makes The Bachelor look like a traditional, real way of finding love. Basically, a team of “professionals” (a sexologist, psychologist, spiritualist, and sociologist) create three “perfect” couples based on “scientific matchmaking,” whatever that is. Because they get legally married the moment they meet, the show follows their first couple weeks of marriage and at the end of the season, they decide if they want to stay together or not. It is essentially a mockery of everything marriage stands for; how can you promise to give the most selfless, deep, unconditional kind of love forever to someone you’ve never met?

Monet & Vaughn, who seem to be the most normal humans on the show, as they’re about as awkward and freaked by the whole situation as I would be.

WHAT. And I thought the Kardashians’ televised weddings were a ratings gimmick! I don’t think it’s possible for reality dating shows to get anymore ridiculous than this. At first glance, it seemed like another ratings ploy that further perpetuates the idea that marriages in the U.S. are a total sham. (Which, to a certain extent, they are; strangers can go on this reality show and get married, but a gay couple who’ve been together for decades still can’t in some states? I have a lot more to say on that topic, though, and I’ll save it for another day and a more tasteful blog.)

Doug & Jamie. I get the heebie jeebies whenever they’re together.

Look, I tuned in because I love trainwreck TV as much as the next girl who’s too tired to figure out what is happening on The Leftovers. I wanted to see what crazies would sign up for it, willing to forever explain on future first dates they’re divorced because they married a stranger on live television. And because the gross side of me wants to watch people live some horrific nightmare, walking down the aisle in front of all their loved ones toward a person they’ve never met. Who signs up to put the fate of the biggest decision of you life in the hands of a reality show?!

But, upon further consideration (if, like me, you like to meditate on the depth and wisdom of reality TV shows), I riddle you this: What is a traditional way of meeting these days, anyway? Most people on the streets are buried in their phones, most guys at bars don’t look all that interested in relationships (judging by the collegiates they’ve usually got perched on their laps), and the cutest couple I know right now met on Tinder. There’s no such thing as “normal.”

And because I happened to take Anthropology 101 at USC, I also got to study arranged marriages in other cultures. My notes are buried somewhere in my garage and my memory of the actual knowledge I absorbed is hazy (sorry Mom, I know how expensive those classes are), but from some googling I can see the set-up works for some people. It’s the antithesis of a love marriage; you rely on your parents or a matchmaker instead of your gut and may not be in love when you get married, but that love grows and the stats for staying together appear to be higher than for “love” marriages, which start with a lot of heat and then, 40-50% of the time, fizzle out.

Besides, it would be kind of nice to take all the heartache and second guessing and exhaustion and awful first dates out of the equation, and rely on matchmaking to find someone who’s actually right for you… Instead of chasing that bad boy type you just can’t quit.

Jamie, after she got married to a stranger and realized that was a pretty stupid move.

And, there’s something to be said for love at first sight. When I saw Tony in the Groundlings lobby in those ridiculous sandals and socks, something in my gut just knew. And the old saying “When you meet The One, you just know” is a cliche for a reason. Sometimes you just do. The romantic optimist in me likes to watch because maybe it’s possible to fall in love this way…

The next episode is on tonight at 9ET/10PT. Will someone please watch, so I can gossip with you about it? Tony has zero interest and my dogs are sick of me talking to them about weddings. I’m rooting for Cortney and Jason because they’re super cute and actually seem like they could be soulmates, and I break into cold sweats pretty much every time Jamie and Doug are together. This show is crazy!!!!


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