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tahoe

This morning, I woke up in my favorite place in the world: LAKE TAHOE!!!!!! It’s our first time back since we got married here, and I couldn’t be happier. Tony and I escaped the holiday madness for a few days at the cabin with 2/3 of our dog-children (Lucy wanted to stay close to the kitchen at my parents’ house, where my mom has been cooking non-stop since her kids and granddogs arrived). It was raining when we got in last night, but we woke up to a few inches of fresh snow and a gorgeous sunny day. Tony made me breakfast in bed, then left for a day of “shredding the pow pow” (man code for skiing, I think, based on the colorfully ’80’s jacket and hairband he was wearing when he drove off this AM). I’m currently embracing my inner middle-aged housewife, watching Good Morning America in my eating pants while chatting with my dogs. I can’t wait to spend the day reading and walking along the water, knowing the only things I need to accomplish are showering and not drinking wine until it’s dark outside (no guarantees on that last one).

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{The spot where we got married, covered in snow last night}

The end of the year is traditionally a time for reflection, which I have a love-hate relationship with because with that comes pressure for the whole “new year, new me” thing. Anytime I start thinking about New Year’s resolutions, I find myself shoveling food into my face like a bear hibernating for winter, thinking “GET IT WHILE YOU CAN. As soon as the clock strikes 2016, no booze, no carbs, no social media addiction for you! You’ll be too busy learning how to do yoga and running 5 miles a day and becoming a vegan in between writing the screenplay that will finally sell and reaching a blog audience wider than your mom’s book club and frenemies who hate-read!” And then I spiral emotionally, loosen the drawstring on my Lululemons, and crawl into an Instagram black hole. I’m a bossy perfectionist with a pretty good track record of strong-arming things into going the way I want them to, and my career has been one of the few things I haven’t been able to manipulate/force/cajole into being what I want, when I want, exactly how I want.

That’s the “hate” part of the end of year reflection. I’m working on being gentler with myself, and loosening my grip on the idea that I’m nothing if I’m not a successful screenwriter-blogger-actress. Because I’m also a wife, daughter, sister, friend and dog-mom. And, technically, I am a writer-actress, even if not a successful one yet. So, here’s the “love” part, the things that bring me peace, joy and pride as I look back on 2015: I married my best friend, the love of my life, who makes me laugh and feel loved unconditionally every minute of every day. I got to share that wedding day with the people I love most in this world, who traveled so far to be a part of our celebration. I worked really hard and tried my best, and had close calls that brought me closer to my goals, and I got some really nice notes from people all over the world with lovely words of encouragement and kindness about this blog. I performed in some really fun shows. I wrote a lot. Most of my pants still fit. While I didn’t kick my online shopping or hoarding habits, they did not significantly worsen either, so I’m counting that as a win. I volunteered at places that selfishly made me feel better, and reminded me the world is much, much bigger than my worries or dreams and giving back is truly the fastest, easiest way to feel happy. I have yet to light my clip-in hair extensions on fire when I use the curling iron on them. My dogs adore me. I got to swim with a baby humpback whale, pay my bills, host my first Thanksgiving, help my friends through heartbreak, and begin to learn what it means to be a wife. 2015 was great and hard, but the great stuff softened and blurred out the hard and I can’t wait to see what 2016 brings.

I’m signing off for a hot minute to enjoy the holidays with my family and take a breather from living online. Over the next week or so, I’m looking forward to trudging through snow with my loved ones, running off Christmas cookies through the neighborhood I grew up in, playing with my friends’ babies, dressing my dogs up in festive outfits, drinking too much wine and pretending the chlorella pills I’m popping are counter-acting all my unhealthy choices, showering infrequently, laughing constantly, living in sweatpants, baking food with no nutritional value with my mom, singing off-key Christmas carols around the fire, and generally just immersing myself in the coziness of family. I’m grateful for the family I was born into, the family I’m building with Tony and the family we’ve chosen in our friends, and I’m so very grateful for you! Thank you for reading and supporting this blog, it means so much to me. I hope your holidays are peaceful, relaxing, rejuvenating and full of the things that mean happiness to you!

Here are a few things that have brought me joy since I got the heck outta dodge/Los Angeles… What are you looking forward to this holiday season?

surprise party

{Mom, VERY surprised at the surprise birthday party we threw for her this week}

mom at my age

{Mom at my age, on the cover of the scrapbook we made for her surprise party}

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{My pages in the scrapbook}

dishwasher naps

{My parents’ dog Rigel, napping with dirty dishes}

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{Tony, shredding that pow pow this AM}

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS, from our family to yours! X A


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