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August 1

As of today, I have officially been Mrs. Cavalero for six months! I can’t believe it’s been half a year since we said “I do.” I feel like we’ve been married forever, and I also feel like it was just yesterday that I was surrounded by my favorite people in my favorite place, celebrating my life with my favorite person. I wish I could re-live that entire week in Tahoe over and over and over. In these first six months, I’ve learned a lot. Namely: I love Tony more every day. I am not ready for kids yet (Tony is). I am ready for more dogs (Tony is not). And bad days are better – and good days the best – because I have a teammate to share them with. Five months ago, I wrote my thoughts on our first month of marriage. Today, I’m sharing a special guest blog with my husband Tony’s thoughts on marriage, now that we’ve reached the half-way mark to our first anniversary:

I’m currently shredding some air guitar to Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” as my brother Nick and I cruise (at above posted speed limit levels) across the beautiful state of Tennessee with the Smokey Mountains looming ahead of us. We’re road tripping across the country in my brother’s new Prius (that used to be my Prius). The drive’s been totally rad, filled with non-stop laughs and horrific farts. We stopped at the Grand Canyon to do a sunrise run, we skied a day in Taos, we pigged out at Central BBQ in Memphis and, by the time you read this, we will have dropped by my old college stomping grounds to give a high five to my lacrosse coach at VMI. This has been a total unforgettable blast, however once you’re married, there is this part of you that’s missing when you’re out and about without “your person.”  Talking to my brother throughout the drive has really brought to light how many times a day I am reminded of her, whether it be through a song on the radio, me fiddling around with my wedding band, or telling Nick that he’s making fun of my “man-bun” just like Annie does. Annie and I do EVERYTHING together, to the point of grossness, but whatever, I don’t mind being gross because she’s my best friend. Even though I knew from the get-go that she was The One, there are certain things that have changed/shifted/solidified since we tied the knot back in August. Being that we are right at the six month mark, I thought I would share some of my observations:

This thing is forever. We made a commitment to each other and there is a sense of relief in that.  I enjoy the challenge of finding ways to make little investments in our “love bank” each day.  Just because we are married now doesn’t mean that the little things we do for each other will fall by the wayside. If anything, I have to up my “little signs of affection” game. Making her coffee, surprising her with flowers, picking up the dog poop without having to be asked (rarely, just because I’m a knucklehead) – these are all actions that go a long way in our relationship. She goes of her way, too, to get me really meaningful little gifts that surprise me (i.e. a pair of wooden sunglasses that I had mentioned I liked 8 months prior, or the license plate holder with my college logo on it). Also, little tiffs seem more ridiculous. I mean, do we really want to waste our time together bickering over who ate all the mayonnaise? (True story. This was a fight from our first six months.)

I see it on our mail, I hear it when people call, it’s on social media and it’s undeniable that I absolutely love that Annie is “Annie Cavalero.” I smile every time I hear her first name and my last name (now her last name, our last name, too)… Almost to the point of #barf. I still slip up every once in a while and call her Annie Baria, and it’s awesome getting corrected. I know we had a long last name discussion, but selfishly I’m so pumped we are both Cavaleros.

Everything we do is a team effort. Every writing project, blog entry, Groundlings show, Facebook post, audition, dog acquisition is for us.  This is a team and we are going for gold. “Life gold.” We have mutual dreams, ideas and goals; so, we both make decisions everyday in line with these gold dream goals.

I will probably spend the rest of my life negotiating the “dog acquisition” topic.

I fiddle with my ring a lot and whenever I do, it reminds me of Annie. I like routine and schedule, so having a constant like my wedding band is pretty darn cool, even if I’ve scratched the heck out of it doing meathead pull-ups (I can do like 20, BTW).

Being married has changed the dynamic of attending social functions. Now when we go to dinners, parties or other events there’s this added pressure that we NEED to be together. It seems odd to go to a social event solo anymore. Like, “I’m going to have to engage with others without you?!” In actuality, it’s not a big deal at all, but I think there is an added pressure of having to tell everyone you encounter why your wife isn’t in attendance with you. People seem so weirded out to see one of us without the other. Going solo has now become a different beast than before when we were just engaged or dating.

We can both have our own fun! Recently, Annie made a buffet of “dude food” for a few of my buddies to come over and watch my favorite football team lose terribly. Then, that same afternoon, she had some of her fave ladies over to watch the Golden Globes. It’s refreshing to play some lacrosse with my club team, go to the movies with some buddies, or solo sprint around the neighborhood like a wild man. Annie loves to visit the Korean spa, test out fun new cocktails and get manicures with her friends (OK fine, I do indulge in a good mani every once and a while, as well).  We have certain things we like to do that the other does not and that’s totally cool. We’ve learned that we are both more fun to be around after doing those activities, so it’s great to give each other time to do their own thang.  It’s all about compromise, right?!

We have been traveling a ton and I love it! For work and pleasure, Annie and I have been all over the place these last six months. Many of our friends with kids have told us that we should take our time before we start a family and travel, so we are really trying to do that. Our honeymoon in Bora Bora was INSANITY. Then we spent a month in beautiful Vancouver for work. We both spent a couple weeks in Victoria, Texas for work. And, of course spending the holidays in Tahoe was magical.  No matter where we go, it’s always better when we’re together. Our pre-baby bucket list includes hitting the Grand Canyon, Mexico, Italy, and Australia.  And as a side note, we try to stick to the two week rule: We will never go more then two weeks apart, so we’re trying our best to hold to that rule, no matter where work takes us.

Now that I’m a married man, I automatically qualify as an expert in all things matrimonial and am willing to impart my sage wisdom to any single person looking to go on a relationship vision quest. (Whether they want my advice or not. #1 Top Piece of Advice: Never let her get hungry, man! For your sake, always have a snack on hand and dinner plans.)

It’s really fun to dream of our life together. We love spending time thinking of baby names (Ronjohn is my top boy pick) (Editor’s note: I am not cooking up a baby for NINE MONTHS and then ripping my body apart to push it out only to call it Ronjohn. VETO.), looking at dream homes (see Annie’s here) and talking about dream gigs. We can DREAM BIGGER together then we ever did as individuals and that’s SUPER TIGHT!

What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts, ideas and observations, as well! Thanks for reading, guys! Please don’t forget to like, share, subscribe, and SHRED! Have a great week, dudes and dudettes. Happy 6 Months, Annie.

{photo by Meg Smith}


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