Tony officially went on hiatus today, and we are going on a date tonight. Like, a real actual date. Like, I'm going to shower. Maybe even wash my hair, we'll see, who knows. Definitely wear a dress because I'm scared to know whether or not my pants fit right now. Tomorrow, Tony is going to a theme park with his bros, and my plan is to go to a Korean spa by myself and let a stranger scrub my skin off. I need to take a chill pill. (JK I'm already popping chill pills called Xanax like candy. Thinking about storing them in a Pez machine, just to make it fun.) This week continued last week's level of bonkers, and I'm excited to hopefully share some big news next week if everything goes well this weekend - and if not, I will write about how it all fell apart. (Xanax.) I know I'm being like one of those awful people on Facebook who's like "I HAVE THE BEST NEWS BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT," but I really don't want to jinx anything so thank you for bearing with my grossness. In the meantime, here's what I'm grateful for this week... I hope you guys have a happy weekend with as much wine guzzling as I am planning for myself!View Article
Yearly Archives: 2016
Do you guys do that thing that all the skinny celebrities swear they do, drinking a cup of hot water with lemon in it as soon as you wake up to "alkalize" your body? (Whatever that means.) Can someone please explain this to me? Because I did it yesterday and today and haven't lost any weight yet, and I'm starting to think it's bullcrap, and I want to cut straight to the chase/life source: COFFEE. Anyway, if you don't want to face life today, here are some things to read on the internet instead!View Article
When I don't want to look like I ate a Shake Shack cheeseburger, cheese fries and a peanut butter chocolate milkshake at 10pm last night (which I totally did, and do more often than I would like to admit), I reach for Karen's CC Skin Perfector. This is not an ad. I paid full price for the bottle you see in my hand. And I am OBSESSED...View Article
I woke up thinking it was Monday. It's been that kind of week. (Also, maybe I have Alzheimer's.) Tony and I are making some big life changes that I can't wait to share once I know they're for real for real actually real, so our weekend will be spent lying low and working around the house. Our one big adventure will be attending a party at a beach house that has been featured in coffee table books, and I can't wait to eat too many tacos and pretend I live there. I'm taking Monday off to try to get my sh*t together, and I hope you have a relaxing, rejuvenating three days full of joy, party food and less Xanax than me! To everyone who has served and sacrificed for our country, thank you thank you thank you. HAPPY LONG WEEKEND! Here's what I'm grateful for right now...View Article
Today, Heels in the Hills' resident mommy blogger Barbara King is writing on a topic that I initially thought was a joke... PRESCHOOL GRADUATIONS. Not a joke. Real. Guys, is this a thing everywhere or only in L.A.? Also, I LOVE IT and all I want in this life is to attend one. Blasting "Graduation (Friends Forever)" as I read this magic!View Article
Do you ever pop a Xanax, make cookie dough and eat it raw for dinner, then meditate with a sheet mask on your face while chugging wine through a straw? Or was that just me last night? THIS WEEK IS GOING SO GOOD YOU GUYS. I am adulting so good. SO GOOD. Now excuse me while I scream into a pillow, then take my first shower of the week (JK, I don't have time, I have dinner plans and my friends will just have to deal with me + 1 full can of dry shampoo in the place of hair). Happy hump day! Here is some stuff to read on the internet instead of living your life, if you want to be like me!View Article