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About Annie

Writer//actor//comedian//wife//animal hoarder just trying to survive the mean streets of L.A. My husband Tony Cavalero & 3 rescue dogs are my favorite people (not necessarily in that order).

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This goes out to anyone quarantining alone... the

This goes out to anyone quarantining alone... the grass is not always greener 🧻 #marriage #quarantinelife #STAYHOME

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HERO SAM 💜 she is a selfle

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HERO SAM 💜 she is a selfless, brave, brilliant badass going to work @childrensla while I am looking at my calendar & realizing I haven’t gone farther than a dog walk since March 10. I am so lucky she is my friend, and in awe of the impact she makes on the world every day, but especially now in these scary times. She won’t see this because she is an evolved human with better things to do than spin on the social media hamster wheel, but I am posting anyway because this is the perfect reminder that once upon a time, I showered too 💃 (also I lied, she will totally see this when I text her a screengrab because I am an egomaniac with an insatiable need for validation) LOVE YOU SAM 💕

Are hot tubs hot enough to kill coronavirus? Or ar

Are hot tubs hot enough to kill coronavirus? Or are they just a bubbling breeding cesspool? How long does the virus live on buffet handles?? I invite you to visit my Stories and float down memory lane with me & @tonycavalero as I reminisce about our own personal pleasure ship experience, in an attempt to make sense of WHY thousands of passengers were released onto the streets of Charleston with zero screening or testing on March 16... and lo and behold, like a beacon in the night, swipe to see who answered my Stories’ call today, cruising right past me as I was reliving & posting the nightmare 🚢 I WISH I WAS KIDDING I’M NOT THIS IS REAL LIFE (but seriously, go watch my Stories if you need to toss some levity onto the dumpster fire that is 2020 thus far)🚢🤤💊🍷😷 #cruiselife #STAYHOME

Maggie outed herself as a pandemic denier in this

Maggie outed herself as a pandemic denier in this blatant disregard for social distancing 😷 (it should also be noted I did NOT take shrooms before filtering this photo, I just have no clue how to adjust the lighting on my phone 🌈) #agingmillenial #stayhome #bookclub

#tbt to last year’s birthday... who would have t

#tbt to last year’s birthday... who would have thought 367 days later I would be mailing flushable adult wipes to my loved ones?

Got a gift bag full of Lysol wipes so this birthda

Got a gift bag full of Lysol wipes so this birthday was straight up MAGIC ✨ I am feeling very lucky and blessed to be alive and healthy, now more than ever (although not sure how much longer this will be the case, based on the bar 2 blocks away currently packed with dipshits raging for St. Patty’s ☘️🤤💊) What crazy, crazy times we are living in. What a beautifully quarantined day in socially distanced isolation with @tonycavalero, take-out, a beach breather, a home-cooked dinner from our End of Days stash, all the rescue dogs I am legally allowed to own, AND all the xanax + sanitizing supplies a girl could hope for 🙏 Thank you SO MUCH for the birthday love and kind words, I am overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness and am really enjoying the picture it all paints of what my eulogy will look like some day ☘️💚☘️ There might be assholes still out partying, but there are also strangers DM’ing to see if we need toilet paper, or offering to pay for groceries when *people (*my beloved husband) forget their credit cards at home (we Venmo’d them & love them forever ♥️) Mister Rogers once said, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” I am so deeply thankful for all the helpers in my life. And in this next lap around the sun, I will try to not just look for the helpers, but also to BE one. My birthday wish is for you to do the same... Look out for your loved ones, your neighbors and yourselves, babies! Stay safe, stay sane & STAY THE FUCK HOME 🙏♥️☘️

ISOLATION READY 💪 (let’s be real, this introv

ISOLATION READY 💪 (let’s be real, this introvert is always ready for some social distancing 💃) Our brilliant friend + @childrensla’s newest Artist in Residence @monica_c_birakos_art turned our diving board into a work of art + really upped the glam factor of this quarantine 💎 It is as gorgeous as her beautiful heart, and is bringing us a lot of joy in the midst of all this anxiety. Art is powerful and important, all the more so in times of uncertainty - I am going to try my hardest to peel myself off the 24/7 news cycle and use this quiet time to create more, too ✨ Stay safe, stay home, stay clean + WASH YOUR HANDS while we ride this madness out 🙏 And while you’re on that Amazon toilet paper binge, also consider treating yourself to a #selfcare shopping spree to support small businesses (check out Monica’s gorgeous Etsy store 🤩), buying gift cards from your favorite local restaurants and donating to places like @mealsonwheelsamerica + @baby2baby that are looking after those in need right now (please tag your favorites in the comments below!) 💙 sending you all a socially distanced hug, love + peaceful diving board vibes 🌊 (that wave is from the pool after I belly flop into it fyi)

#tbt one of the most transcendent experiences of m

#tbt one of the most transcendent experiences of my life, double-fisting Chick Fil A while @sturgillsimpson tore up the stage ✨ Turns out his genius is matched only by how kind he and his wife are 🙌 if you’d like to enjoy a re-enactment of my favorite Keefe fan encounter to date at this concert, go on over to my story highlights 💎

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