{Our living room, Christmas 2013}

I LOVE Christmas. It’s a particularly happy time for me because I got engaged over the holidays, and I’ll always associate the season with that joy. But, I’m also the type of person who thinks it is perfectly acceptable to listen to Mariah Carey’s greatest holiday hits year-round. I’m one of those people most rational humans hate, who order iced peppermint lattes in July to feel Christmas-y and think that October is a great time to start holiday shopping and decorating. If you can wear white after Labor Day, you can also keep you tree up until February. It’s gross, I know. Sorry, not sorry.

{This was sitting in my email this morning, like an e-present under the tree}

One of my favorite signs the happiest season of all is right around the corner showed up in my inbox this morning… The Neiman Marcus Christmas Book!

{According to Neiman Marcus, this is one of the gifts you should consider sending a loved one this year!}

I love this book for a variety of reasons, 1% because just looking at it is wish fulfillment, but mostly because the other 99% is pure ridiculousness. I imagine their target audience is a deranged housewife, who just got home from her 2nd spin class of the morning and is hopped up on coffee and Klonopin, ready to shop. That’s the only person I can realistically envision purchasing some of these items, like The House of Creed Bespoke Fragrance Journey for $475,000.

Another item of note: They don’t call it the holiday book. They call it the Christmas book. In fact, the 2014 Christmas Book. They acknowledge what year it is in their title, and still refuse to be P.C. Ain’t no Hanukkah gifts in here! Only presents for people who love Jesus and Santa!

{Santa Baby, just fill my stocking with $50,000 sheets for me!}

With the wedding in mind, some of the more reasonable items will likely end up on our registry… But if Tony has anything to say about it, you can definitely expect to see one of their hottest recommendations on our registry, His & Hers Vilebrequin Quadskis! Neiman Marcus had us at “Together time just got a whole lot more adventurous—and fashionable!” What better way to spend our free time as newlyweds than riding this jet ski meets ATV, which converts “from water cruiser to land lover in just under five seconds” and travels at speeds up to 45MPH with its BMW engine. I mean, they basically guarantee that if we buy these, we won’t ever get divorced – “If it’s true that the couple that plays together stays together, then the owners of these straight-from-the-future vessels are in it for the long term.” With free shipping included in their $50,000 price tag, it’s a steal!

You can view the “fantasy gifts” here and the entire book here. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!