{My dad’s parents, GrandBettye and GrandaddyJoe, celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary}

I think the only secret people are more interested in than “the fountain of youth” is the secret to a lasting, loving, fulfilling relationship. Tony and I take our upcoming vows very seriously and are taking advice from anyone and everyone who will offer it; in fact, we took a free marriage class offered at a church up the street from us (you can read about that madness here and here). The Huffington Post recently shared this piece on 13 Simple Tricks to a Long and Happy Marriage:

1. Be nice.
We are! (Most of the time. Him more than me. I could be nicer about his hair, for example.)

2. Enjoy each other’s company.
Easy! He is my best friend. He can make anything fun. Like when he convinced me to go running with him in Vancouver by promising to stop at any restaurant I wanted along the way. (I finished that run with several glasses of champagne fueling me.)

3. Say “I love you” as much as possible.
We’re pretty gross about this one. See: My Instagram.

4. Be honest.
We are, to a fault. See: this blog, especially the one about Vegas.

5. Limit outside influences.
Does this mean my parents have to stop visiting once (or twice) a month for week-long trips?

6. Small tokens of love go a long way.
Tony is the best at this one. He brings me a latte in bed (almost) every morning, and comes home with a treat or flowers more often than not.

7. Distance can and will make the heart grow fonder.
I hate this one, especially because it can be a necessary evil of our job (Tony spent most of the summer filming a movie in Vancouver). But, I also know it’s true.

8. Be realistic.
We’re a good balance for each other; I’m an intense mix of Type A and “head in the clouds,” whereas Tony is very pragmatic. If it were up to me, we’d buy a ranch in Ojai and adopt dozens of dogs and then figure out how to make it work later.

9. Cherish each other.
We do! See especially: #3 and #6.

10. Be your own person.
We could work on this one… I mean, we wrote a show together and called it TONANNIE. But, we do have different hobbies (I love to cook, he loves to work out), and we have different friends (in addition to mutual), so we’re not unhealthy, right? (Don’t answer that.)

11. Build a strong foundation of friendship.
See: #2.

12. Know that relationships are a two way street.
My mom always says if you both put each other first, then you both win. (Someone probably said it before her, but she likes to take credit for these kinds of things.) I love that advice.

13. Lastly, no marriage is perfect — and that’s okay.
This one is hard, especially because I am still riding the high of getting engaged and I want the “honeymoon phase” to last forever. I know we’ll have our ups and downs, but that’s what I’m looking forward to most about marriage – through it all, we’ll be together, making each other laugh and doing our best to keep life fun.

What are your secrets to a happy marriage?