Filed in click crack, SERIES |
{Lucy, helping Tony prep for an audition yesterday}
When I was in college, my roommate and I watched The Bachelor religiously. We had a ritual: Curl up on the sofa with cheese, wine, guacamole and M&M’s in our pajamas, scream at the contestants as if they were athletes and not women with questionable mental health, and fantasize about what it would be like if The Bachelor picked us. (On my hometown date, I planned to take him on a tour of all the places in Davis I humiliated myself, starting with the salon where I got the skin waxed off my face along with my eyebrows. I probably would have lost.) Over the years, as it grew into a 3-hour spectacle and I grew up and realized everyone on that show probably is not really there for true love, I stopped watching. But, enough of the funny women I follow online binge watch and live tweet it that I decided it was time to crawl back down that rabbit hole. I forced Tony to watch this week’s episode with me last night, and realized the true fun isn’t watching The Bachelor – it’s watching my husband watch The Bachelor. Here are a few of my favorite things he shouted at the television:
“She’s a war veteran? That’s her occupation?!”
“She’s a TWIN? That’s her occupation?!”
“Wait, so he just gets to make out with different chicks every night? [BEAT] That’s terrible.”
“Lace’s faces are CLASSIC.”
“IT’S 2 HOURS LONG?! [Resigned] It’s 2 hours long…”
“The twins aren’t super bright. It seems like they share one brain.”
“Shut UP, fake ass Cameron Diaz!”
Re: Lace: “Why did your parents give you an American Gladiator name?”
Re: Rose ceremony: “Let’s clean some house here, Ben.”
My plan, from here on out, is to share Tony’s thoughts on each episode. I hope they bring you as much enjoyment as they do me. If that’s not enough of an AM distraction, here’s the clickbait I’m trolling on the internet this week:
Idiotsitter premieres as a TV show on Comedy Central tomorrow. Do yourself a favor, drop what you’re doing and binge watch the web series. Then watch the premiere tomorrow. Thank me after. Jillian and Charlotte are comedy genius goddesses.
52 places to travel in 2016.
11 apps to make your life easier and more organized.
NPR’s guide to the podcasts you should be listening to.
Tips on how to be better at your job in 2016.
I want to inhale a bucket of this dark chocolate popcorn with sea salt.
Let’s all join Emma Watson’s Feminist Book Club, Our Shared Shelf!
10 bad habits that are making you unproductive.
This is your brain on nature. Get outside!
Madewell’s spring 2016 lookbook is out and I want EVERYTHING.
The 25 happiest companies to work for (MYSELF didn’t make the list. Maybe because the dress code of “whatever I wore to bed last night” disqualifies it as a real job.)
Keep educating yourself with these online classes.
Love this piece on why it’s time to stop playing hard to get.
Fun Instagram accounts to follow.
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