{Rigel, vogue’ing so hard on our deck during his L.A. vacation. Fun fact: My mom lovingly refers to him as my brother.}

My parents were in town from last Wednesday to yesterday morning, which means I ate something green and not deep-fried for the first time in almost a week today. Our house has a thin carpet of dog hair from the 5 canines we collectively live with and up until noon, I thought it was Monday. (It’s Wednesday.) Instead of dealing with my life and attempting to be a functional adult in society, I’m trolling the internet. Here’s what I’m reading instead of doing the laundry and shoveling the mountain of dog crap in our yard…

LOVE Amanda Peet’s hilarious (and honest and kind of heartbreaking) reasons for why she’ll never get Botox.

This is what happens when you let Amy Schumer take over your Tinder.

Mantras of successful women.

8 awesome podcasts.

My friend Jen’s Facebook updates about motherhood are the funniest, so I am super excited she’s sharing her thoughts with the world as Imomsohard. Here is the first video.

What’s your Myers-Briggs personality type?

Patton Oswalt’s essay remembering his wife will make you cry. You’ll be so glad you read it anyway.

Drooling over this carrot cake recipe.

This is THE worst person on Facebook.

To anyone who thinks they’re falling behind in life. (I needed this right now, and loved it.)

HAPPY HUMP DAY!