Yesterday, I had an audition to play a teenager in a horror film. THE CASTING DIRECTOR ASKED ME IF I WAS OVER 18 and I discovered that sometimes, words can be better than antidepressants! I will ride this high until I grow another face wrinkle!!!!!! That's really all that's happening in my life right now. Happy hump day! Here's the clickbait I'm trolling on the internet these days...View Article
This swimsuit was MADE FOR ME: It's UPF 50. One-piece. Long-sleeve. Chic (Jaime King recently wore it, to shut down all ya haterrrs!) (I don't know if I have haters. It very likely might just be my mom reading this blog.) (And sometimes her book club.) I recently celebrated my 30th birthday in Mexico, and was looking for a swimsuit that would keep my skin porcelain doll-like and cancer-free, as well as hold in all of the tacos and margaritas I intended to consume. I followed through on that plan hard, and this suit did its job - I returned to Los Angeles without a tan or sunburn, carrying about 10-lbs+ of tacos and tequila on my belly and hips. Melanoma is no joke (especially for people with a family history of skin cancer, like me), and I never leave the house without SPF on. I love that swimsuits like this are not only being made, but celebs like Jaime are making them cool. If you'd told 13-year-old me that I'd be willingly posting pictures of myself in a swimsuit on the internet, I probably would've jumped off a cliff right then to prevent it. But now, this attention-whore is using her soapbox to say this: Summer is coming! Wear your sunscreen! Get a long-sleeve UPF-rich suit! Eat tacos and live your life! K, happy Tuesday, bye.View Article
I am SO. EXCITED. to share this guest blog from my friend Allison Bosma, writer for NBC's UNDATEABLE and one of the funniest humans I've ever met. Like me, she moved to Los Angeles with the pipe dream of becoming a HOLLYWOOD STAAAAAR! This is her hilarious, horrifying tale of the audition that killed her dreams... (Good thing, too, because now the world gets the gift of her writing. Especially me. She gets paid a lot of hot, steaming cash for putting words on paper and she wrote this magic pro bono. THANK YOU, ALLISON.)View Article
Not to sound like a crotchety old woman but guys, what happened to El Nino? Is it still coming? Because we had to turn on our air conditioning last night, and I'm worried it was all a lie. And I am not ready for Shorts/Sweaty Season. Ok, rant over. This week, I am most grateful to be home with my husband and dogs, settling back into our routine after the wild, wonderful and overall insane few weeks of Tony's show premiering. It was exciting, emotional and a learning curve for both of us; I, for example, learned I would make a terrible politician's wife. This weekend, I'm looking forward to curling up with a book and some allergy meds in the backyard up on our deck and lying comatose for a few days straight. I'm also excited to get mani pedis to celebrate a friend's birthday, catch up on The Americans and spend Easter with my family. Here's what I'm grateful for right now...View Article
L.A. actor//writer//mom (and my bestie) Barbara King is back with her latest on motherhood in Los Angeles. This is the second piece in her series on the terrifying and hilarious (and very broken) school system in Los Angeles. When you're done laughing (or breathing into a paper bag from anxiety, if you are also going through the same ordeal), wish her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY in the comments section, and tell her it's all going to be okay! Here's Barbara on the questions you should ask on an L.A. school tour if you're a "Real Mom Of Los Angeles..."View Article
Apparently, it's National Puppy Day? I feel like it's that holiday at least twice a month just so people can #humblebrag about their #dogsofinstagram, but I'm not complaining, I love any and all excuses to share photos of my dog-babies. It's an apropos holiday to fall during this week, too, as Tony and I finally bit the bullet and hired a dog trainer on Monday. It was for a variety of reasons: Our dogs are all maniacs in general, but especially when people come over. One pees herself she gets so excited and the other, without getting too deep into her issues, is sort of like Lenny in "Of Mice and Men." Lucy, the oldest, is the only sane one. They've destroyed our fence by trying to claw through to our neighbor's dogs, they treat the rug as their own personal toilet, and one of them growls if I try to move her on the sofa or in the bed to make room for ME. The dog trainer summed it up nicely when she looked me in the eye and said, "You're the lowest bitch on the totem pole. You need to take control of your life." I had no idea I was getting free therapy out of the sesh, too, but she saw straight through to my soul! (She also got down on the floor and growled at the dogs, and said that once when she got bitten a few years ago, she bit the dog back. I'm 100% positive that she is higher on her life's totem pole than I am on mine.) Anyway, blah blah blah, we're doing sleep training with our dogs sleeping NOT in our bed and I'm trying to be in charge without apologizing to them for telling them what to do. (Yes, I apologize to my dogs. Maybe I do need to take control of my life.) We are NOT sleeping, though, while the dogs voice their disapproval of their new sleeping arrangement all night long. So, here are some of the things I clicked on when they woke me up from 3-5am last night...View Article
If you read yesterday's blog, you know squeezing into my jeans isn't exactly an option for me after our NYC pasta//pizza//cake//champagne bender. So I was super stoked to discover these as an alternative to my usual go-to Yoga Pants (Even Though I Don't Do Yoga) look. The mom of one of Tony's "School of Rock" costars was wearing these at a party recently, and I cornered her immediately to find out where she'd gotten them. I was relieved to find out they're under $100, and ordered them on the spot. And the sneakers are from our wedding! My bestie//MOH Katierose knows how much I love "Father of the Bride," and suggested I get a pair of my own wedding sneakers to pay homage to the movie and be comfortable dancing all night. Best idea ever. I don't know if wedge sneakers are "on trend" anymore, but I DO know they're comfortable and I love them, especially because these ones remind me of the best night of my life. If you run into me this week, I'll probably be wearing this.View Article
Tony and I are finally home from New York, after what was possibly the craziest week of our life. (Tony himself said, "I didn't think it was possible for things to get more emotional than our wedding." I think he meant it as a compliment?) It was whirlwind madness, going from the Kids' Choice Awards to "School of Rock" premiering nearly a year and a half to the day he booked the job to a red-eye to NYC for Tony's press tour to me turning 30 (something I've been extremely melodramatic about). There was a lot going on in our hearts and brains. In most other industries, if you get the right degree and work hard, you'll eventually get the job. Hollywood doesn't work that way. Someone can move out for pilot season and book the very first job they audition for (happened to a friend of ours), or someone can spend their entire life working toward the dream job that never comes (the worst fear of everyone we know). Plus, us actors are prone to drama. I'm not sure if lawyers or garbagemen cry when they get a job, but in this town when you never really know if it will happen, it's emotional. And all of that hit us like a ton of bricks - seeing Tony on TV, his face on Times Square, and kids shyly approaching him at the airport, a restaurant and the streets of New York, asking "Are you on a Disney show?" (Close enough. SO cool.) It was beautifully surreal. I'm happy to report that our marriage survived, I entered my 30's without a complete mental breakdown, and we ate nothing but carbs, butter, cheese and sugar for a straight week. Here's what it looked like...View Article
