Yesterday, I had an audition to play a teenager in a horror film. THE CASTING DIRECTOR ASKED ME IF I WAS OVER 18 and I discovered that sometimes, words can be better than antidepressants! I will ride this high until I grow another face wrinkle!!!!!! That's really all that's happening in my life right now. Happy hump day! Here's the clickbait I'm trolling on the internet these days...View Article
Apparently, it's National Puppy Day? I feel like it's that holiday at least twice a month just so people can #humblebrag about their #dogsofinstagram, but I'm not complaining, I love any and all excuses to share photos of my dog-babies. It's an apropos holiday to fall during this week, too, as Tony and I finally bit the bullet and hired a dog trainer on Monday. It was for a variety of reasons: Our dogs are all maniacs in general, but especially when people come over. One pees herself she gets so excited and the other, without getting too deep into her issues, is sort of like Lenny in "Of Mice and Men." Lucy, the oldest, is the only sane one. They've destroyed our fence by trying to claw through to our neighbor's dogs, they treat the rug as their own personal toilet, and one of them growls if I try to move her on the sofa or in the bed to make room for ME. The dog trainer summed it up nicely when she looked me in the eye and said, "You're the lowest bitch on the totem pole. You need to take control of your life." I had no idea I was getting free therapy out of the sesh, too, but she saw straight through to my soul! (She also got down on the floor and growled at the dogs, and said that once when she got bitten a few years ago, she bit the dog back. I'm 100% positive that she is higher on her life's totem pole than I am on mine.) Anyway, blah blah blah, we're doing sleep training with our dogs sleeping NOT in our bed and I'm trying to be in charge without apologizing to them for telling them what to do. (Yes, I apologize to my dogs. Maybe I do need to take control of my life.) We are NOT sleeping, though, while the dogs voice their disapproval of their new sleeping arrangement all night long. So, here are some of the things I clicked on when they woke me up from 3-5am last night...View Article
Tony and I are in NYC for his "School of Rock" press tour! Read about my traumatic bagel experience with a pratfall straight out of an Anne Hathaway comedy, check out links to Tony and his cutie costar on the local news and see what else I've been trolling on the worldwide web. HAPPY HUMP DAY!View Article
My favorite (and only) husband Tony appeared on this morning's episode of "Home & Family" on the Hallmark Channel! They filmed it yesterday at Universal Studios, and I had the best time wife'ing it up in the wings. I sat in the front row of the audience and made wife faces at all the silly things Tony said, and I'm pretty sure there are some meme-worthy reaction shots of me rolling my eyes or giving over-eager thumbs up. They showed a clip of the tape that got him a live SNL audition in New York four years ago, and they also shared a clip from the audition tape that landed him "School of Rock." It got me really emotional, thinking about how far he has come and where we are now. Specifically, that his career is in a place that he gets to be on a morning talk show and drag me along, and I get to watch him with googly eyes in total disbelief I was somehow lucky enough to marry him. And snack on Joy Bauer's healthy jalapeno poppers and chocolate cupcakes with avocado frosting and then TALK TO HER (I'm a foodie fangirl. You know this.) AND be in close proximity to the baby pigs on set. I didn't get to hold them, but I did stare at them for a long, long time and take about 10 million pictures (which I will share in Friday's gratitude list). I also learned that they are 1) up for adoption and 2) can grow to be 650 lbs. Tony, you were asking what I want for my birthday next week and I think I know! If you're as antsy as me for the weekend to just get here already ("School of Rock" premieres this Saturday after the Kids Choice Awards and I am SO. EXCITED.), here are some distractions to help get you through... HAPPY HUMP DAY!View Article
WE'RE BAAAAACK! (Trying to sound excited over the keyboard, even though I'm weighed down by about 15 lbs of tacos and margs, and the general ennui of crawling back to reality. How melodramatic for a Wednesday mid-morning!) I know I told you I'd be back to the blog Tuesday, but I lied (sorry sorry sorry). We were scheduled to fly back Monday, but were having so much fun we pushed our flight and stayed an extra night. SO, we're back on schedule a day late: lovable links today, a post with all the juicy taco-filled deets about our Mexican getaway tomorrow and gratitude list Friday. Thanks for letting me escape life for a few days and drown myself in booze and sunscreen. It was a 30th birthday trip for the books. We got home late last night, and I dragged myself to a workout class at 6:30 this morning. Pretty sure my sweat smelled like tequila, but I didn't pass out or barf so I'm calling it a WIN. I got a writing job (!!) that pays in actual money (not potential and dreams) that I need to buckle down on stat, but if you'd like to procrastinate for me, here is the clickbait catching my eye this breezy Wednesday morning... HAPPY HUMP DAY!View Article
Things I have done today: Take a workout class while it was still dark outside that had me grunting like a bear in labor/dying. Attend a nutrition seminar and learn that all the things I like to eat are bad for me (I knew this already, so I don't know why I subjected myself to it). Eat more leftover brownies from our Valentine's Day weekend binge. Chase my dogs around trying to get them to snuggle me. Troll the internet. Here is my favorite of what I found on the worldwide web this week... HAPPY HUMP DAY!View Article
This week has been cray cray slammed because I finally got a real job that pays actual money (!!!) for the next few weeks, so I haven't had much time to troll the internet... But here's the clickbait that got me while I was inhaling a chocolate croissant this AM/waiting for my Xanax to kick in last night. HAPPY HUMP DAY, lovers! (ps Do you hate me for saying "cray cray?" I do!)View Article
