Exactly one week ago, I entered my last year of my twenties. It spooked me more than I thought it would (and hopefully more than 30 will in less than a year.) I have so much beauty and happiness in my life, so many awesome things happened in the last year (I wrote about all of them here) and this is the year I’m getting married, but I couldn’t help fixating on the aspects in life where I’m falling short. It felt stressful and disappointing to tack another year onto my age before I’d accomplished some of the things on my “life list” I thought would be checked off long before now. LeAnn Rimes was 13 when her career took off. Lena Dunham and I are the same age, but she was 25 when the TV show she writes and stars in premiered. Bethany Hamilton had her arm eaten by a shark and still became a professional surfer as a teenager. Stephen Hawking developed ALS at 21, and is now a world-renowned cosmologist… I’m almost 30, and just had to correct the typo that read Stephen Hawking is a “cosmetologist.” I didn’t want to celebrate another year of chasing a career that has, more or less, eluded me. I know you’re not supposed to compare yourself to others, and the only race we’re running is the one against ourselves, but I’m competitive and ambitious and I’m working on it, OKAY MOM??

I’m normally huge on birthdays. I’m a believer in celebrating birth months, not days. And I love entertaining; few things make me happier than having my house packed with people laughing and eating food I cooked. But this year, I didn’t want to have a party. My parents were coming to town, and my plan was to spend a week eating things that generally cause diabetes in anticipation of the trip to fat camp my mom gifted me with.

{Birthday trip to visit Tony on set}

{Birthday dinner at Terroni}

But, despite my melodramatic decision to sweep my birthday under the rug and eat my feelings, it still ended up being the best birthday yet. I got to spend the morning volunteering at CHLA, a place I love that also puts everything in perspective immediately anytime I go. And Tony got the memo on my desire to have all things birthday-related be food-themed, and snagged a reservation at Bestia, a restaurant that you usually have to book months in advance. That alone was gift enough. My family came to town and spoiled me rotten, and continued the food binging spree. And then, this past Saturday, Tony completely blew my mind with the greatest surprise of all time.

He hired private chefs to come over to our house and cook all of my favorite foods: crostini with burrata, avocado salad, pesto pasta and fried chicken. And he picked up a marble cake from SusieCakes, my go-to treat when I am happy, sad or neutral. Those foods don’t necessarily go together, which made it all the more delicious and special: the menu’s theme was simply Things Annie Loves. And, understanding I didn’t want a big blow out, he only invited a very small group of close friends. The amount of preparation, thought and love that went into this surprise gift was overwhelming. My bridesmaid Barbara put it best with this question she asked the next day: “How does it feel, to be loved that much?”

{Table Tony set by himself. He watched a YouTube video on how to roll napkins, and tied them with leftover S’more Love ribbons from our engagement party.}

{Chef describing the food}

{Me + the private chefs}

And then, after dinner, Tony suggested we all go up to the deck. It was cold, but he piled up blankets and insisted… Then disappeared. And less than 10 minutes later, showed up on the deck and declared we should come back down for cake. I should have suspected something was up but honestly, there had been so many sweet surprises for my birthday thus far, I thought he simply noticed that all of the girls were shivering and the deck had been a bad call.

But, as soon as I rounded the bottom of the stairs, I was met with the sound of Jondo, a doo-wop group I am obsessed with, serenading me. I heard them before I saw them, and almost passed out. One of Tony and my favorite date nights is to get frozen yogurt at 21 Choices in Pasadena, then walk across the street to hear Jondo sing underneath the Tiffany & Co. arch. They’re incredible.

Even though I’d been freezing moments earlier, it was such an overwhelming kind of happiness, I started sweating immediately. (Gross. I wish I reacted to moments of intense emotion more gracefully, but I’m an ugly crier and get hot and sweaty when I’m feeling all the feelings.) In every picture, my hair is damp and matted, and I’m smiling my real smile that I hate because my chin blends into my shoulders when I’m so joyful I forget to pose. But I don’t think I’ve every looked prettier. I’m wearing a beautiful dress my mom gave me for my birthday, looking happier than I’ve ever seen myself. They sang Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, all my soul music favorites, and then crooned the best version of “Happy Birthday” I’ve ever heard, and we all ate cake together. Tony turned a day I’d been dreading into a week of memories I’ll never forget.

So, to answer your question, Barbara, I guess being loved that much feels better than being a one-armed professional surfing cosmologist with a hit single and TV show, because I found Tony, someone that funny, loving, selfless and thoughtful, to spend my life with. I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world. #blessed (for real)