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{The author and her kids, multi-tasking}

My favorite L.A. mama, Barbara King, is back in the latest edition of Coffee With Friends, with her take on how New Year’s resolutions change after having kids. Like her, it’s hilarious and heartwarming. We’re officially 3 weeks into 2016, guys. It’s REAL. I’m surviving Dry January (barely) with only minor hallucinations of diving into a pool filled with wine. How is your “New Year New Me” thing going? Here’s Barbara, sounding off on her resolutions…

I used to love January because it was full of hopeful ideals for the new year. I was a big resolutions gal, starting a list of possible resolutions months in advance and guzzling down any “helpful hints” or “killer tidbits” from bright and shiny articles about how to best attack your resolutions. And I was pretty good too, not falling off the resolution wagon immediately like most people tend to do – I could last months following whatever idiotic regime I had planned out like “eat something green for every meal.”

This was all pre-kids, of course. Yes, the glorious pre-kids days where resolutions of “not drinking more than three cocktails when I go out to party” made sense. Now, dedicating precious brain space to even thinking of possible resolutions seems like a waste of time. Why spend time on resolutions when I have a gazillion other goals that my brain neurons would be much better suited for – like keeping my children from becoming serial killers and stuff like that.

So now, what I focus on instead are teeny-weeny daily resolutions. Just a couple things I can focus on for one day. These are perfect for all moms – the new mom who is still floating in the clouds as she holds her 3-day old infant – and the seasoned veteran mom reviewing SAT terms with Kid 1 while simultaneously dressing Kid 2 for soccer and feeding cheerios to Kid 3.

Here was my daily resolution list exactly four years ago when my first child was about five months old:

  1. 1. Take a shower.

That was it.

Then I added another kid to the chaos and exactly one year ago, my daily goal list read something like this:

  1. 1. Take a shower.
  2. 2. Don’t let the kids kill each other.
  3. 3. Buy wine.

And since then, my daily resolutions have continued to morph. Sometimes they are very specific, like, “text pictures of the thank you cards I just found written but never sent from last year.”

Thank You card

{Like this one. THANKS, ZOE!}

Other times they are more esoteric, like yesterday’s resolution to “be present.” There is one thing my little daily resolutions tend to always include though, and that is:

  1. 1. Take a shower.

And I don’t know about other moms, but my post-baby showers are still golden gifts from heaven going on five years after my first was born. They are pure and perfect luxury. Because for 2+ minutes I can stand alone without the risk of being barfed on or pooped on. I can stand alone without making something a teaching moment or stepping on a toy. I can stand alone and cry about a shitty day without distressing my child or I can stand alone and proudly smile as I recall the new word my baby learned.

So while others are going to the gym for the fifth time this week and counting the pounds they’ve dropped, or the dollars they’ve saved, or the cocktails they haven’t consumed, I am just focused on one day at a time. Preferably shower included.

Be Present

{Practicing being present in Tahoe this summer}

Barbara King-Wilson is an actress and writer living with her family in Los Angeles. Follow her @TheBarbaraKing and visit her at! For past posts by Barbara, get over here and here!

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