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(I just felt like being melodramatic, thanks for going with it. We never really do anything crazy for Valentine’s Day because restaurants and hotels are crowded with over-priced “special” menus and stressed out people in suits and Spanx strong-arming the high pressure night into UNFORGETTABLE ROMANTIC MAGIC, and also because we generally prefer to eat in sweatpants with our dogs these days. That is true romance.)

Look, I am a modern woman. I know Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday by corporations who want you to spend your money on whatever… But I also love holidays and presents and chocolate, so. Real holiday in my book. Just one I prefer to spend at home.

The kind folks over at FTD wished me a happy heart day with that pretty floral Heels in the Hills graphic they made me above, which prompted me to get my act together and finally post a blog sharing some of the random things I’ve written down on Post-Its or in emails to myself meaning to get up on Heels in the Hills over the past few months. I am now formally sharing these things in the form of gift ideas you can give to someone you love (including yourself) for Valentine’s Day:

A BABY GORILLA. (Ellen and Portia know what’s up & I LOVE THIS SO MUCH) Tony and I were beyond #blessed to visit Rwanda last year and go trekking with these gorillas, and I literally think about our time there every single day. Most incredible experience of my life. They’re more human than humans, and near-extinct, and we CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN OK. I want to go back and get pushed over by a silverback again so badly. Best day of my life.

In addition to a baby gorilla: Cookies from Milk Jar. I dream of them. They’re heaven in your mouth. I recommend the chocolate peanut butter, but live your own life. Tony likes the vegan lemon “healthy” ones.

A gorg personalized bracelet from an ethical jewelry company made from sustainable materials in Kenya, like this one that I reallyreallyreally want. HINT HINT. 15% off your order with the code GIFT2018 !! (Here’s why I’m all about this company.)

These under-eye gel masks, so it looks like you’re awake even if you’re not. I keep them in the fridge and know they are good because Tony always steals them & wears them in traffic on his way to auditions.

Flowers from FTD! (If you like the graphic they made me & flowers in the shape of love words, get over here). Dudes (HI TONY), if you’re stumped: Peonies are always the answer. Just googled the cost of peonies NM! Roses are also the answer. Obviously. As evidenced by 9 million seasons of The Bachelor/ette.

Any of these books. Or these books. Or Standard Deviation, the book I’m reading right now, which is a funny rom com and thus on theme for Valentine’s Day.

LED dog leashes, so you and your canine babies don’t get hit by cars when you walk at night. “But dog leashes aren’t romantic,” you say. And to that I say: “THEY COME IN PINK.” (Also, they’re super useful and 100% of their profits go to dogs in need.)

Laura Mercier Caviar Sticks. (My faves: Moonlight, Amethyst and Au Naturel.)

Looking for something unique or one-of-a-kind? Check out EBTH or Etsy and search your favorite movie, band, brand, color, material, or sports team along with the word VINTAGE for all kinds of awesome stuff. If you’re looking for vintage band stuff specifically, my mom introduced me to Wolfgang’s – the 1982 Rolling Stones sweatshirt she got me for Christmas is everything.

All things Clare V. I wear the sweatshirt Tony got me for Christmas 3-7 times a week, and this bag is my obsession.

A gift card to Pause Float Studio. Basically, you climb inside a pod that looks like it’s from that Tom Cruise movie Minority Report, shut the door and float alone with your thoughts in the dark for around an hour. There’s science about sensory deprivation helping with pain and panic attacks, so it’s great if you’re an NFL football player or a person having a nervous breakdown. (I can only attest to the latter.)

Cook dinner at home. Last year, Tony put some champagne in a backpack and we hiked with the dogs under the Hollywood sign and watched the sunset. It was the best. This year, we’re making this pasta at home, our favorite dish from Jon & Vinny’s (while Tony recites poetry he wrote about why I’m his soulmate without ever breaking eye contact, he just doesn’t know this part of the plan yet.)

If you’re cooking at home, too, and want to watch something romantic, may I suggest OVERDUE, the web series I co-executive produced for AwesomenessTV? And if you’re looking to watch something not romantic, may I suggest LA MOMS, the web series I co-created and star in? (Self promotion out thank you bye.)


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