This might just be my sexiest, most interesting and unforgettable post yet... SOUP!!!!! Spicy vegan broccoli soup, to be specific. But one of the *cool (*terrible and very difficult for me to accept) things about turning 30 is that I can no longer maintain my steady diet of tacos, pasta, frosting and wine without slowly becoming Mama in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape." So, to balance the foods I love, I'm now trying to incorporate meals that will help save me from an early death of heart disease, Type 2 diabetes and/or an expanding waistline. For help, I turned to my friend Kim, who makes healthy choices on the daily and has a body that looks like this because of it...View Article
Tag Archive: diet
My friend Christie Bishop (a badass businesslady boss in the corporate world and wife of "The Adam Carrolla Show"'s Bryan "Bald Bryan" Bishop) calls cooking a "hobby," but eating at her house is like eating at a restaurant. Do you remember the salted caramel peanut butter cup brownies she made for my bachelorette party? I do. I dream of them most nights. I love pasta with a passion most people save for humans, so the idea of shredding up a zucchini and calling it "pasta" sounds like blasphemy. But, Christie does it and I like to do whatever Christie does, so I Amazon Prime'd myself a spiralizer. Here is her favorite way to get your veggies in and indulge in "healthy" pasta...View Article
I like to mix this baby up in the AM because I feel like I'm drinking all of the healthy things I need in one fell swoop, and am thus giving myself permission to eat cupcakes and fried chicken for the rest of the day. (Nutritionists tell me that is not how that works, but I disagree.) I love all things spicy, and when I sip this it almost feels like I'm drinking a jalapeƱo margarita with my breakfast (not gonna lie, I did in fact use the leftover jalapeƱos from my homemade spicy tequila for a few mornings, so I guess they were morning margaritas. I choose to call them "Tequila-Flavored Green Juices.") But this recipe is alcohol-free because it's Dry January and we're all trying to be "new me's" in this new year! So sip on, and know you're giving your body the nutrients it needs to fight those cupcake/fried chicken/tequila binges.View Article
The one upside to gaining weight is that your boobs get bigger... Every other aspect blows. I've been partying hard since arriving in Tahoe for our wedding a few months ago, and the jig is finally up. I tried to get into a pair of pants yesterday that fit just fine pretty recently. I eventually got them on, but it was a sweaty struggle that left me in tears and left a mark on my belly when I wriggled out of them at the end of the day. (I still had a cupcake - wearing said pants - later in the day because I have zero self control.) I LOVE to eat. I live to eat. Whoever said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels (Kate Moss, maybe? Probably.) never ate pasta at Jon & Vinny's, or pizza at Sotto, or beef and pickle tacos at Escuela Taqueria, or a cheeseburger at The Nice Guy, or a fried chicken sandwich at The Darkroom, or cake at SusieCakes... You see how I got myself into this little (literal) jam. So, in anticipation of the holidays, I'm attempting to eat healthy and make the slow, miserable crawl back toward my wedding-weight. In an effort to make it slightly less miserable, I'm trying to come up with low-calorie spins on my favorite dishes. Like today: Chicken salad.View Article
After my Veuve-and-slider-station bender this past weekend, it's time to crawl back onto the "fit into my wedding dress" wagon. My friend Kim is pictured above, so it goes without saying she knows what to eat to look like that. (You can check out her other fave smoothie recipe here.) She shared this recipe to help a girl out. It didn't have a name when she emailed it, so I'm taking full credit for that (sorry, Kim.) Maybe if this blog doesn't work out, I'll pursue a career in smoothie naming. Is Jamba Juice even around anymore? I'm getting sidetracked... Here's what to blend to get a body like Kim! It serves 2, so you can share with your lover or eat both yourself.View Article
My friend Kim DeJesus looks like this. And she eats this. Ergo, if I eat this, I will look like that. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS, RIGHT, KIM??? (She's also vegan and works out a ton, but I'm gonna pretend that if I have this smoothie for breakfast, I can have tacos for lunch and pasta for dinner and call "walking to the fridge" exercise.) I got the email that my wedding dress is ready (!!!!!!) this morning, and so I turned to Kim in a panic for help actually fitting into it. This will be the first in a series from her teaching me how to eat healthy! And because she knows how much I love milkshakes, she's starting me off easy with the fit girl's version of a McDonald's Shamrock Shake...View Article
To celebrate the end of my godforsaken juice cleanse, I'm sharing THE GREATEST CUPCAKE RECIPE IN THE HISTORY OF CUPCAKES. I'm not just saying that just because I've eaten nothing but pureed plants for the past three days, although I will admit I was so hungry when I woke up this morning anything sounded delicious (I already wrote about dog food.) I'm saying that because these are truly the yummiest cupcakes I've ever baked, which Tony and the kids of School of Rock will back me up on... I made them last Friday when we had the kids over for a pizza party and screening of Austin Powers (they'd never seen it! We introduced them to both Austin and Elizabeth Hurley. I don't think their worlds will ever be the same.) The kids all said the frosting tastes like ice cream and Tony (who doesn't even like chocolate that much) ate three of them. Throwing the last two away mid-cleanse broke my heart.View Article
On the last day of my juice cleanse. Wrote more cohesively about Day 1 + Day 2. Can't think straight now. Trying to sleep as much as possible, so I can just wake up when it's over. Dogs are eating their breakfast right now. The smell and sounds of them chewing are making me drool. The inside of my mind is a foggy fever dream that looks sort of like this...View Article